6.09.2018

Our Patch

Once
there were
flowers here,
pink peonies.
Now we scratch for sustenance in the dirt. 

Writing TETRACTYS poems in the Imaginary Garden!

20 comments:

  1. Sharp!

    This form is really fascinating. It lends itself to that "turning point" where the "slap and sting" can come into being, in unexpected ways.
    And the brevity is interesting too. How the necessity to "count" means such precision with words, it adds a wonderful edge to the writing.

    I really like this piece - how it speaks about "over-stripping" and the "dead end" results.

    Thanks for hosting, btw. I'm intrigued by the prompt/form.

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  2. Love the change here from the past to present... the form really presents itself to making those turns as Pat says... It's fun with the super short forms

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  3. Gosh the closing line is absolutely stellar, Marian!💞 I enjoyed writing to the prompt. Thank you for hosting us!💞

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  4. Once there were pink peonies along the other side of my fence line, but the new owners turned half the gorgeous double lot into a gravel parking lot for their stupid trucks. Ugh!

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  5. I do like the last line. It’s a short form, but it holds the potential to say so much.

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  6. Nice turn around... I like this form much better than a haiku.

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  7. A fun read, Marian.

    The then and now of our flower gardens. Called Green Thumb Curse
    Peonies
    That once
    We're
    ..

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  8. The more I read this form, the more I like it - especially after reading yours, Marian! I love the way the time change pivots on the pink peonies.

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  9. Yes, I agree with Pat. You have established a great dynamic between the first four lines and the last. The irony is profound.

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  10. Friends, you are too lovely.
    I've just now realized that Blogger no longer sends me emails when I get comments here. What! Sigh.

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  11. You must have seen my flower garden. I really like this poetry form and the way it flows.

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    1. I like it too! Might have some more coming. :)

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  12. Perfect! From a garden to scratching for sustenance is exactly how it feels, these days. Watching one moron offending the whole world.

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    1. Exactly. One moron who is propped up by a large number of evil-doers. Yikes

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  13. It saddens me to know how Earth is changing. Nice writing, Marian.

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  14. A sign of the arrival of hard times...no doubt. Let's hope for better times and a return of those peonies.

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  15. The contrast in this. You do this form so well, so flawlessly. The world around us. Once we used to live in a garden and now we barely makes weeds.

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  16. Perfect! Soon it might be, once there were flower here . . .

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