4.01.2018

Remembering How It Felt on Spring Days at Eleven

One
girl
swinging
slow-alone
wondering whether
anyone will notice her gone
whether she should go home or maybe
    just disappear

Kicking off National Poetry Month in the Imaginary Garden!

Posted by Marian at 11:11 AM
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14 comments:

  1. Oooh I can well relate to this feeling, Marian! Beautiful work on the fibonacci form!💞

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  2. Oh yes, I remember that feeling! Love the swinging "slow-alone"!

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  4. Too many unaccounted for disappearances.. though I do relate to the impulse. Sometimes it is very hard to stay put!

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  5. Know what I love the most about this? It's sets a scene so cinematically. Without you giving me details, I already have them in mind. You do this so well in your work, nudge details toward me as a reader.

    This becomes doubly effective when you do choose to give me a detail. For instance in this poem, you don't tell me how old the girl is, if it's warm or cold outside, if it's noon or sunset, is she is wearing a red hoodie, or if she is kicking up dirt when her feet touch the ground. What you do tell me is that she is swinging slowly, and gives me such a glimpse into her state of mind. Love this and thanks for sharing!

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  7. So many children have that feeling at times. I know I did! Very recognizable.

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  8. Being 11 is good. It's such an intense, compressed thing that it echoes forever inside.

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  9. Luv her preoccuption in "swinging slow alone" an excellent and dramatic scene is set.

    Much😇love

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  10. I've asked myself those questions but never did I answer. Nicely written. Really nice prompt too. I didn't do much for it but I've been time limited lately.
    ..

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  11. I relate so well to your poem. I can remember exactly those days,, wonderful read,,

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  12. I remember being that girl singing alone - the addition of the adverb 'slowly' says so much, as do the final words.

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  13. on the cusp - the edge - of the upswing, down - free falling into the moment, slow - and the wish as changes happen, as life unfolds, to be teased and teasingly curious, to be unique, yet wanting to disappear - layered so beautifully!

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