4.01.2018

Remembering How It Felt on Spring Days at Eleven

One
girl
swinging
slow-alone
wondering whether
anyone will notice her gone
whether she should go home or maybe
    just disappear

Kicking off National Poetry Month in the Imaginary Garden!

14 comments:

  1. Oooh I can well relate to this feeling, Marian! Beautiful work on the fibonacci form!💞

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  2. Oh yes, I remember that feeling! Love the swinging "slow-alone"!

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  3. Too many unaccounted for disappearances.. though I do relate to the impulse. Sometimes it is very hard to stay put!

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  4. Know what I love the most about this? It's sets a scene so cinematically. Without you giving me details, I already have them in mind. You do this so well in your work, nudge details toward me as a reader.

    This becomes doubly effective when you do choose to give me a detail. For instance in this poem, you don't tell me how old the girl is, if it's warm or cold outside, if it's noon or sunset, is she is wearing a red hoodie, or if she is kicking up dirt when her feet touch the ground. What you do tell me is that she is swinging slowly, and gives me such a glimpse into her state of mind. Love this and thanks for sharing!

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  5. So many children have that feeling at times. I know I did! Very recognizable.

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  6. Being 11 is good. It's such an intense, compressed thing that it echoes forever inside.

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  7. Luv her preoccuption in "swinging slow alone" an excellent and dramatic scene is set.

    Much😇love

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  8. I've asked myself those questions but never did I answer. Nicely written. Really nice prompt too. I didn't do much for it but I've been time limited lately.
    ..

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  9. I relate so well to your poem. I can remember exactly those days,, wonderful read,,

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  10. I remember being that girl singing alone - the addition of the adverb 'slowly' says so much, as do the final words.

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  11. on the cusp - the edge - of the upswing, down - free falling into the moment, slow - and the wish as changes happen, as life unfolds, to be teased and teasingly curious, to be unique, yet wanting to disappear - layered so beautifully!

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