4.01.2018

Remembering How It Felt on Spring Days at Eleven

One
girl
swinging
slow-alone
wondering whether
anyone will notice her gone
whether she should go home or maybe
    just disappear

Kicking off National Poetry Month in the Imaginary Garden!

Posted by Marian at 11:11 AM
Labels: , ,

14 comments:

  1. Sanaa RizviApril 1, 2018 at 11:21 AM

    Oooh I can well relate to this feeling, Marian! Beautiful work on the fibonacci form!💞

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sherry Blue SkyApril 1, 2018 at 11:32 AM

    Oh yes, I remember that feeling! Love the swinging "slow-alone"!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rosemary Nissen-WadeApril 1, 2018 at 11:41 AM

    And I'm another who remembers this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kerry O'ConnorApril 1, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Too many unaccounted for disappearances.. though I do relate to the impulse. Sometimes it is very hard to stay put!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Isadora GruyeApril 1, 2018 at 1:35 PM

    Know what I love the most about this? It's sets a scene so cinematically. Without you giving me details, I already have them in mind. You do this so well in your work, nudge details toward me as a reader.

    This becomes doubly effective when you do choose to give me a detail. For instance in this poem, you don't tell me how old the girl is, if it's warm or cold outside, if it's noon or sunset, is she is wearing a red hoodie, or if she is kicking up dirt when her feet touch the ground. What you do tell me is that she is swinging slowly, and gives me such a glimpse into her state of mind. Love this and thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ayalaApril 1, 2018 at 3:47 PM

    Lovely. Happy Easter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Marilyn CavicchiaApril 1, 2018 at 5:46 PM

    So many children have that feeling at times. I know I did! Very recognizable.

    ReplyDelete
  8. FireblossomApril 1, 2018 at 6:14 PM

    Being 11 is good. It's such an intense, compressed thing that it echoes forever inside.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gillena CoxApril 1, 2018 at 6:52 PM

    Luv her preoccuption in "swinging slow alone" an excellent and dramatic scene is set.

    Much😇love

    ReplyDelete
  10. JimApril 1, 2018 at 9:10 PM

    I've asked myself those questions but never did I answer. Nicely written. Really nice prompt too. I didn't do much for it but I've been time limited lately.
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  11. ElleceeApril 1, 2018 at 9:23 PM

    I relate so well to your poem. I can remember exactly those days,, wonderful read,,

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kim M. RussellApril 2, 2018 at 2:57 AM

    I remember being that girl singing alone - the addition of the adverb 'slowly' says so much, as do the final words.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousApril 2, 2018 at 4:37 PM

    on the cusp - the edge - of the upswing, down - free falling into the moment, slow - and the wish as changes happen, as life unfolds, to be teased and teasingly curious, to be unique, yet wanting to disappear - layered so beautifully!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Paul John DearApril 4, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    Powerful vignette

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)