6.05.2016

Except the Memory of You

Sometimes I feel like
some sad old goddamn song
that everyone knows the words to
but just won’t sing along

        --Charlie Chesterman, "Mister Blue"

Laughing girl
tugs her beater over her belly
overshares
earns a stage shout-out
is easily amused
seemingly cheerful
like baby’s breath
in a carnation bouquet

She is rain on Sunday
bag of kittens in the river
calliope
last call banjo
at Nico’s Recovery Room
stumbling down Highland Ave
three flights up
to an empty bed


Flash 55 for Real Toads!

13 comments:

  1. rain on Sunday and bag of kittens in the river... that's tragedy if there ever was one.. (somehow I think this one could fit to "Another day in Paradise" too..

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  2. Agh. Such potent and evocative tropes here and more than tropes. Really well done, Marian. k.

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  3. This is just brilliant, Marian.

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  4. Brilliant indeed. I don't know how you packed so much story into 55 words.

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  5. Goodness...I hate to be the girl who has over shared...sigh. Excellent poem, Marian. I'm sorry I didn't make it to your prompt. I've been busy with moving this summer...a big project. :) Good to read you. xo

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  6. Your descirptions are so poignant. As Kerry said, you have told an entire story in these few words, and with huge impact.

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  7. That second stanza is raw... really good.

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  8. Laughing girl
    earns a stage shout-out
    is easily amused
    seemingly cheerful

    A laughing girl will evoke such lovely memories. They are full of life! Great lines Marian!

    Hank

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  9. Pitch perfect for that kind of blue. Of course the lover in the first stanza would reveal the one in the second. Reveling in her ...

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  10. Oh my goodness. I see her. Maybe I know her....laughing,. hiding the pain as she goes home to her lonely dismal flat. The bag of kittens in the river is unexpected, and really fills out the picture. Really amazing work.

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  11. I am overwhelmed by the rush of images. Exemplary.

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  12. Damn - that contrast between the first and second stanza. The construction gives the words a stronger punch by the time you reach the end.

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