4.05.2016

Birds Fly

It’s time to whisper, as the birds have come
to folly us with song at morning’s breath
and tease our dream-scapes with relentless sun.

Wake up! They cry, the time for dreams is done!
Wake up your sleepy head, it’s well past death-
time, now whispering, and the birds have come

To bring us joy, to bring incessant fun
against our will, against our early breath,
to tease our dream-scapes off with endless sun.

Such sunny days are few, and only one
or two are worth this elegant throat-catch;
It’s time to whisper, as the birds have come.

Let’s turn our voices to forever-done,
tune in to birdsong, tune out all this mess,
embrace our dream-scapes and relentless sun

In exquisite display, my mourning one.
For you and me, forever-ness, unless
in time for whispers, sweet, sweet birds have come
to tease dream-scapes away with endless sun.

Poem Number Five for Poetry Month, sharing a VILLANELLE for Tuesday in the Imaginary Garden. If you can even believe it! My first ever, and probably my last.

Don’t hate the villain. Hate the villanelle!

21 comments:

  1. You have braved using the traditional application of iambic pentameter meter to the villanelle. The result flows so sweetly. I began using that meter and found it totally destroyed the feeling I wanted. So I just kept to the villanelle rhyme scheme. I found Dylan Thomas varied his rhythms in his vilklanelle 'Runaway'so that opened the door for me.

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  2. Luvverly! You've created an exquisite villanelle, and I love such beautiful lines and phrases as 'to folly us with song at morning's breath' and 'this elegant throat-catch'.

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  3. The opening lines are pure gold!
    Beautifully penned :D

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  4. Your first? This is purely lovely.

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  5. I can hardly believe it is your first ever. This is just so stylish. I love the way you altered each repeating line slightly - I think it is the right choice for a less rigid flow to the piece as a whole. You have combined the images of death with those of life with a subtle flair. It would be hard to think of mourning on such a beautiful day.

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  6. I swear the wake the buds open. This makes me want to write poetry to their score.

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  7. I swear the wake the buds open. This makes me want to write poetry to their score.

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  8. Oooh, a traditional Villanelle in iambic and so beautifully done. This really speaks to me as I woke to birdsong this morning, a good fifteen minutes before my alarm. I was not happy about the early rising, but I could not stay mad for the joy of the song.

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  9. I shall arrange for a wake up call with your speaker. Getting up "past death" tends to be a problem for many.

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  10. So well done,, I enjoyed all of it but the first lines caught my spirit right away, "It’s time to whisper, as the birds have come
    to folly us with song at morning’s breath"

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  11. I like your villanelle, Marian. Those nasty birds, stay away.
    ..

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  12. Oh I love this Villanelle.. such a great creation and how you embedded a narrative into the lyrics, the slight variations only enhancing the form... there is something so very spring-like in your poem..

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  13. I like "fun against our will." Often the best kind.

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  14. I like "fun against our will." Often the best kind.

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  15. Most poems with birds I love, including this one.

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  16. "....to folly us with song at morning's breath" - oh, what a beautiful line.......and the "elegant throat-catch". This must not be your last villanelle because, at the villanelle, my friend, you excel!!!!! This is so wonderful to read!!!!!!!!!

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  17. The third and fourth stanzas are my favorites. I've enjoyed reading this a few times already today. Well done. :)

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  18. This is just terrific, Marian--the harmonics are wonderful, the variations are terrific and the content is solid and alluring--really well done and so much fun to read. Great work! k.

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  19. Damn birds, relentless sun ... waking's won by them, "incessant" and "endless" -- here's the vast complaint of the sleepy-head who just isn't ready to surrender to the fact of day-ing, the uphill slog of writing it all down and so. The ecstasy of birds is free -- for them, anyway; for us, it's a villanelle -- work. You iron through these with reluctant joy and work well done.

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  20. I agree - a hard poem to capture well and you did. "tune in to birdsong, tune out all this mess," and an appropriate message of this day and age...

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