2.21.2016

First

   Lightening
(only) one
       acute sentiment
   Astounding
(only) your
       magnanimous offering
 Stone path
      (heave
           n
           ward)


Micro Poetry for Real Toads: ONE THIS SNOWFLAKE

12 comments:

  1. This is light as a touch upon the senses. I especially like the way you set out the final lines 'heavenward'.

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  2. The heavenward combines the weight of rocks to the lightness of heaven... like that gravestone... so much found in your lines after a few reads.

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  3. I love the heave n ward!!! So heavy, so Anne Sexton-esk "The Awful Rowing Toward God"

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  4. Yes, I too like the heave-n-ward.

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  5. Great use of the parenthetical :-)

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  6. I love to watch the lightening, seems I never can get a good picture with my camera. I may think of your writing the next time I try.
    The emphasis on "one acute sentiment" and "your magnanimous offering" by the cleverly placed (only)'s and being coupled with the "Astounding" adds size and importance to those two seemingly not extraordinary phrases. Without those three modifiers the meaning would not change but it might be rather dull reading. I didn't say that all well but I really did like it the way you formed it.
    That said, lightening is a beautiful path leading to the heavens, Heaven perhaps. All of these, again I say, were not within my thinking until I read your 'e e C-like' clever form.
    ..

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  7. Love how your spacing turns those last words into verbs. Fantastic. E.E. would be proud.

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  8. Puts me in mind of Jesus's moment of death on the cross...

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  9. Stone path heave - n - ward...love those breaks...

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