4.08.2015

Surface Principle

In writing
on losing you, memory
allows only mundane elements,
lists of almost-facts stacked up
   like matryoshkas,
lathed half-truths layered impossibly
deep, revealing only
fine luster.

#8 of 30 in April, for Real Toads prompt EVERY DAY I WRITE THE BOOK

17 comments:

  1. I always enjoy your word choices, Marian and this...I love how it pulls one down the page and lands on the balance of , "fine luster." Excellent and thank you for the challenge!

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  2. Sometimes words fail to say what we really mean.

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  3. Brilliant metaphor. "lathed half-truths layered impossibly
    deep" oh, oh, oh.

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  4. This is absolutely amazing... loved the use of metaphors in this poem. Sometimes we struggle for words to express our feelings to the ones we love... the moment passes by... and it becomes a memory.
    Much love..
    xoxo

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  5. This captures how difficult it is to write about someone who has gone, all you can see are details that may not make sense to anyone but you. Still, the details must be written. Well done.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly what I was trying to represent here. Thank you!

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  6. Lovely triquain, Marion! And an intriguing challenge.

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  7. I agree with Hannah, and have stated before, that your word choices are indeed delicious.
    I liked this challenge and I get the same taste of sorrow I got in mine, thinking of old things written. <3

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  8. Yes, the word choices here are AMAZING! Impressive write, Marian!

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  9. Haha nice words, but do I dare read this one out loud? Not sure I can pronounce that word for Russian dolls. :)

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  10. You have such a gift for saying a great deal in a very few words and leaving the reader with a sense of absolute completion at the same time as experiencing a new perspective.

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  11. I have to jump on the word choices bandwagon. So impressive and original.

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  12. Yes, you choose the most incredible words. I don't know if the memory is brighter than the words to describe it, or we have become to dull to write about it.

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  13. Bravo, I love the deep, revealing~

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  14. *pushes somebody off the word choices bandwagon so that I can get on*

    soooooooooooo rude!

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  15. Sometimes I feel like you are writing from right inside my brain.
    I love all your poems but once in a while they touch me so deeply I am stunned silent.

    Just love this.

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