2.01.2015

Love on a Desert Planet

Don’t put a cactus shirt on a mannequin.
He likely will resent you forever,
certain to develop a prickly sense of humor
that would spoil any friendly endeavor
you employ.
Too busy being angry to enjoy
love sooner,
he’ll resist your touch, still
wondering whether you’ll try again, and again
doubting your intentions, sharply, until--

Flash 55 PLUS Kerry’s super-hard word-counting Robert Herrick stanza.

17 comments:

  1. Super hard is right! Er...and in this case, prickly too! ;-)

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  2. O Golly, Marian. Sounds like some unsound advice a fellow a few years older than me and pals used to hand out about having a pleasant love life. I don't think it was correct but it won't go away from my memory.
    ..

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  3. A cactus shirt.. Shudder. I think there are cases when such are needed - but maybe only for the prickly pricks that deserve it,

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  4. Kudos to you for accepting the extra challenge. I did not. Very impressed with your poem, and now I am remembering how strange mannequins seemed to me when I was a kid......

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  5. I love the title and the ending made me think....Super hard to find love when wearing a cactus shirt ~

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  6. This poem thrilled me - from the first line to the ellipsis ending. It is wise and humorous and wise again. Just excellent in thought and execution.

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  7. This is just really well done, Marian.

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  8. The whole thing is a prickly business. LOL. Loved the cactus shirt - a variation of the hair shirt?

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  9. Oh those prickly emotions we wear.. Love this!

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  10. Hahaha. I hope this didn't come from experience!

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  11. Pinching people will usually result in all kinds of hurt for everyone involve. Clever ouch.

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  12. I love this cautionary tale, Marion--dressing mannequins is something we are all too prone to do--but using cactus garments is definitely self-defeating. I too find this stanza form a bear, but it has a music to it that makes it worth the effort. Try to stay warm up there!

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  13. Ha! This is very clever! People and hair shirts--whether mannequins or cacti--are difficult combinations. Very clever.

    Marian --I also wanted to thank you for your very kind review, which I just saw. So appreciated. Thanks much. K. (PS --I will absolutely try to reciprocate--though I know you didn't ask. It is so wonderful that we can support each other in this way. Take care, K.)

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  14. This is a really clever poem and I chuckled at a couple lines, especially those in the beginning. I would imagine someone would resent another if they were always pricking them in the back. Trust is something hard to achieve if you've broken it once before.

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  15. The repeated, albeit various, references to the characteristics of cactus make this a strong, solid write.

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