4.25.2014

Asylum Street

As I waited for you
in the wrong place,
you left me behind,
leaving only your mother
for commiseration.

Next time,
you left me with my pack
perched on cement steps,
taking the dog
with you, no looking back.

After that,
every night I smothered you
with my pillow
but you never came back;
I had been left behind.

For Margaret’s great prompt to the Real Toads: Willard Asylum

19 comments:

  1. Such a vivid vignette you have captured with your words, Marian. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Imagine how that felt- left behind- perhaps for life. You write the despair well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This goes as clean and sharp as only a lost and/or betrayed mind can go.

    ReplyDelete
  4. As I waited for you
    in the wrong place,
    you left me behind

    This is almost an entire story on its own - anguish understated.

    ReplyDelete
  5. actually some of this was from a dream i had... and when i saw Margaret's prompt, i was able to weave it into this little glimpse. very stressful, eek.

    ReplyDelete
  6. There are so many dark poems written for this prompt, but this one has a different slant. Really enjoyed reading this!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is a great, unique response to the prompt. I really enjoyed this one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes, they take my dog, they get smothered. Makes perfect sense to me. The simplicity here just drives the message in deeper, Marian.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The smothering, the nightly desire in abandonment ... oh!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This poem has me begging for more!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dark, scary, painful...you managed all of it with such few words. I think I am glad I rarely dream now.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love your opening lines. Makes me think of being a child and so afraid of being left behind....

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the ending, so gripping and chilling ~

    ReplyDelete
  14. Taking the dog is the most telling of all.
    Stark. So real.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Three Time Loser speaks, poor thing, and it sounds like her revenge is an ambivalent squeezing of the pillow. I agree with Mimi, when they take the dog, that's serious.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Surely, this speaks of the sense of utter abandonment that must drive a person insane in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ….I smothered you with my pillow. But so many were left on those steps - I'm sure the ones walking away did find freedom as quite a few were truly crazy -- but the list of reasons to admit look pretty chilling to me!

    ReplyDelete