3.16.2014

Wing Clipping

She was in shock when she awoke,
Her dreams suggesting bigger things,
For while asleep, she’d flying wings.

At first she thought it was a joke.
This cannot be, her conscience said
Until the truth filled her with dread

And fear embraced her like a cloak.
Afraid to speak or breathe or move,
Imagined all that she could lose--

Her heart’s percussion overtook
And paralyzed with shaking ease,
Cut her, quivering, to her knees,

Berating her. She never spoke.
In silenced moments, never sweet
She’s languishing, cowered and beat.

Kerry has the Real Toads trying out a new (to me, anyway) poetry form: CONSTANZA

21 comments:

  1. You make it look very easy and natural... like the heart's percussion.

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  2. I like the title and fear overtaking one to paralysis and silence ~ Lovely work on the form Marian ~

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  3. As always. you show a turn of phrase that renders all form a mere framework for your theme. I can appreciate the amount of effort you have put into the precise nature of each line, the positioning of the punctuation for just the right pause and the selection of rhymes.. but as Bjorn has said, you make it all seem effortlessly easy.

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  4. the thoughts suit the form perfectly well...like heart's percussion.. :)

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  5. Time to go back to sleep and remember how to fly, I'd say!

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  6. Beautiful write Marian! Good work on the form!

    Hank

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  7. I concur; this is awfully smooth stuff for something that has to fit a pretty restrictive format.

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  8. Let it be just in sleep! Happy flying :)xx

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  9. This is a bitch of a form, and you made it look easy!

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  10. Ah. She might have too much to lose to fly away immediately. Nothing like fear of leaving to make a person realize how much they want to live. Of course, it might be a n option to fly in this life too ....

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  11. How we clip our own wings...so sad

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  12. This is the real thing!
    So inventive and so poetic.

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  13. I found this impossibly hard but I liked what you did with it and it reminded me not to clip my own wings.

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  14. This is very well crafted, Marian. It looks so easy here, but just the thought of doing it myself would send me back to dreaming in a hurry. Nice work.
    Steve K.

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  15. "Easy for you to say" — as everyone else has said! Good work here, Marian. It really flows.
    K

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  16. I was loving the rhythm and rhyme of this form, as I was reading. Yes, you made it look easy! Really like "and fear embraced her like a cloak".

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