A Toad's Affidavit

I do humbly swear

Upon this Holiest of tomes

That I observed Mister Malingerer;

Fever bright in his eyes,

Fingering the Sonnet of another

With malice aforethought;

Upon only a moment’s hesitation,

Lopping up said Sonnet like milk

Between bourbon-infused lips;

Wresting the aforementioned

Most Sacred of all Last Lines

In the grip of daggerly canines;

Washing said Sacred Last Line

Down the greediest gullet

Saturated in a shot of Jack;

And finally,

Absconding with the glory

Heretofore belonging to the Poet

Formerly known as S.A.;

And further, I hereby swear

That before said abduction,

I was able to review

And preserve for all Posterity

The Gist of the Famous Last Line:

But Lo, Malingerer: A Hero, At Least To Most.

Whodunit? Only the Toads know.