6.03.2013

If Birthdays Were Wishes

What if it were as simple
as knocking three times, blinking
repeatedly, & clicking your heels?

You’d be on your knees, lucky
stars kissed-blown, dandelions
conserved instead of holding breath

Because this could be your last.
Posted by Marian at 1:52 PM
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14 comments:

  1. GraceJune 3, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Hello to you too ~ I wish it were as simple as that ~

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  2. Kerry O'ConnorJune 3, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    Do I spy a Sevenling? I love this form, and you set the reader up so nicely for the last line, which came as a bit of a wake-up call.

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  3. AnonymousJune 3, 2013 at 5:33 PM

    if only :) lovely, lovely, lovely

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  4. LauraJune 3, 2013 at 6:27 PM

    all we have is this moment... that's the truth.

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  5. LaTonya BaldwinJune 3, 2013 at 7:20 PM

    Whopp! Talk about an impact. And thank you introducing me to another form. Love this.

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  6. kaykualaJune 3, 2013 at 8:56 PM

    It can be simple but most do not bother! It's a tragedy! Nicely Marian!

    Hank

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  7. MargaretJune 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM

    Sevenling! I remember this and need to try it again. So many of us do forget to enjoy today, this moment...

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  8. Susie ClevengerJune 4, 2013 at 1:47 AM

    We miss so much because we don't look or our heads are in the past or worrying about tomorrow. Great sevenling!

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  9. AnonymousJune 4, 2013 at 11:52 PM

    Hey, every birthday, come a certain age, most everyone starts wondering if it will be the last. Ironically, I am not one of them. Marian, I love the Wizard of Oz-ness of it all... very nicely done. Amy

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  10. MarianJune 5, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    thanks, friends. embrace today, you know you gotta :)

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  11. JimJune 5, 2013 at 7:15 PM

    I like your Sevenling, Marian. It's been a while since I have written one. They can be pretty hard to read but the last line will have the readers relating back to check even if they don't know what the writer is up to.

    My line is that I've done everything I need to do, everything I really wanted to do, and am ready at anytime just to go. I will think of this poem now when I tell it.

    This will be my guide. Proably it will have meter and not rhyme:
    http://bensonofjohn.co.uk/poetry/formssearch.php?searchbox=Sevenling
    ..

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  12. AnonymousJune 5, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    I find this particular form problematic, because it almost begs for the big finish, the summing-up, the punchline. You've dealth with avoiding the pitfalls here. The final line is subtle, a veiled threat instead of the big bang, which is wise and judicious.

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  13. Susan Roulusonis PioneJune 5, 2013 at 11:58 PM

    Ditto to all previous comments.

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  14. MarianJune 6, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    thank you, lovely friends :)

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