6.03.2013

If Birthdays Were Wishes

What if it were as simple
as knocking three times, blinking
repeatedly, & clicking your heels?

You’d be on your knees, lucky
stars kissed-blown, dandelions
conserved instead of holding breath

Because this could be your last.

14 comments:

  1. Hello to you too ~ I wish it were as simple as that ~

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  2. Do I spy a Sevenling? I love this form, and you set the reader up so nicely for the last line, which came as a bit of a wake-up call.

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  3. if only :) lovely, lovely, lovely

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  4. all we have is this moment... that's the truth.

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  5. Whopp! Talk about an impact. And thank you introducing me to another form. Love this.

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  6. It can be simple but most do not bother! It's a tragedy! Nicely Marian!

    Hank

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  7. Sevenling! I remember this and need to try it again. So many of us do forget to enjoy today, this moment...

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  8. We miss so much because we don't look or our heads are in the past or worrying about tomorrow. Great sevenling!

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  9. Hey, every birthday, come a certain age, most everyone starts wondering if it will be the last. Ironically, I am not one of them. Marian, I love the Wizard of Oz-ness of it all... very nicely done. Amy

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  10. thanks, friends. embrace today, you know you gotta :)

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  11. I like your Sevenling, Marian. It's been a while since I have written one. They can be pretty hard to read but the last line will have the readers relating back to check even if they don't know what the writer is up to.

    My line is that I've done everything I need to do, everything I really wanted to do, and am ready at anytime just to go. I will think of this poem now when I tell it.

    This will be my guide. Proably it will have meter and not rhyme:
    http://bensonofjohn.co.uk/poetry/formssearch.php?searchbox=Sevenling
    ..

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  12. I find this particular form problematic, because it almost begs for the big finish, the summing-up, the punchline. You've dealth with avoiding the pitfalls here. The final line is subtle, a veiled threat instead of the big bang, which is wise and judicious.

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  13. thank you, lovely friends :)

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