5.08.2013

Preludes

The story of a girl
who can be found
scribbling
on scraps of art paper,
curled
against the chill of the open window
& the songs of birds,
surrounded by those lying aloud
who should be dreaming.
She steeps, readies her words.

The boy
who creaked down stairs
to empty his bladder
wondering
which was sadder, his nightmare
or his parents lying awake
back to back
while birds cracked on
and on as if
there was no where out there.

The wonder
of engines raced beyond exhaust,
garbage trucks, reverse beeps,
laps round the block
as though everyone’s lost,
fatigued
from endless counting sheep.
Line them up
against the chock
& jump the errant sun.

Kerry inspires the Real Toads to write preludes inspired by T.S. Eliot.

21 comments:

  1. I love the way each stanza is linked to the others by reference to sleeplessness, outside noises and a sense of isolation. Together they seem to suggest a movement yet to come which will bring boy and girl together in some way, in the anonymous suburban landscape where some meaning may be made of art and love and a rising sun.

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  2. You have taken it one step beyond Eliot, with enviable ease it seems. I am still in the plodding stage with this. Finding this very difficile.

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  3. This is lovely! You have connected them, yet I wonder about what will happen next in each case. Blogger won't let me use my open ID, so I'm borrowing Millie's. My poem is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com

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    1. sorry about that! i recently closed down the comments to anonymous (which is so much easier, sorry) because of a huge amount of spam. wah!

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  4. Great scene setting here--great potential for moving in a number of directions.

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  5. You set the stage bright and crackling with sounds, specially the last verse ~

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  6. It sets a scene and hints at a connection but is intriguing in its possibilities. Well done.

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  7. I love the way you did this part "...as if there was no where out there" — the great emptiness of the separate words "no where" is bone-chilling.
    K

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  8. You've set it up nicely for a meeting of one kind or another shrouded in mystery.

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  9. There is nothing more I can add. Lovely.

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  10. I can see and feel that child creeping down the stairs. Have been those two backs turned to each other. I was surprised with your ending, which seemed to take a huge mental leap Beyond.....very cool!!!!!

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  11. A family with each member in his/her own unrest...I wonder how it will end. For each answer there are only more questions. Great work!

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  12. Ah, that was loveliness itself! A sleepless night rendered ever so beautifully with 'birds cracking on and on as if there was no where out there'. Love the 'errant sun' too.

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  13. they're really wonderful and I'm longing to see where they lead, will you continue them?

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    1. maybe, though i kinda like them as they are, the beginning of... what?

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  14. Yes, I wonder where this will lead...
    I love the suggestions that take us all there!
    The ending was as Sherry said, very cool...

    More!!!

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  15. Very descriptive and imaginative ... lots of emotions here with an underlying story ... intriguing, well done!

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  16. Everyone and everything here is on the brink of what's next. Your answer to the prompt is perhaps the most apt of those I've read so far... and that little girl grew up and attended Laguna Beach Institute of Art & Design. She's my daughter, Riley! The little boy, what a perceptive moment, seeing sadness in his parents' backs to each other. Amy

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  17. thank you, lovely friends. xoxo

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