3.01.2013

morphology

If what I love
is really what you hate,
then how do I know
what’s real
anyway?

I’ve built my world
on your sepal-covered buds,
and now the ants
congregate,
forcing me to the ground.

Let’s retreat
to that time
when we knew how to love,
before the interloping
of outsiders.

This poem is inspired by the music of Tim Easton, the (wonderful) subject of today's music/writing prompt over at Real Toads.

12 comments:

  1. Oh, I love the ending and the sepal-covered buds~
    Yes, lots of interloping these days~
    Thank for sharing this music...it reminds me of my Dad :D

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  2. You opened with a good question...love sepal covered buds.

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  3. Do we ever know what is real? We push on regardless.
    I love the way the last two lines roll off the tongue.

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  4. I like the second stanza best, sepal-covered buds is a striking image ~

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  5. O the balance here, again, verse to verse, outside in, what is real? I wonder if retreat is possible, once we have built the nugget and let people witness it as real?

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    Replies
    1. I've been told not to confuse the world's distress for my own. so maybe there is a place apart.

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  6. Gol-durned outsiders mess up everything!

    On a technical note... diction is divine, flow is comfortable, encouraging the reader to the next stanza. Length is just right, gave me enough to keep me wanting more.

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  7. i know, that last stanza kinda makes me wanna shout GET OFF MY LAWN! oh, well. xoxo

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  8. Love and life can be so frigging complicated. But you always get to the root of that with your words. I love the conversational tone of this.. It was just right.

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  9. Retreat.... if only we could. Another awesome response to this challenge! The first stanza is fun with its twisting-turning meanings.

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  10. rewind, rewind, watch it all over.

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