3.06.2013

fact finder

Day after every day
you consider, then reject
and consider all over again,
like searching for the crocuses
you put in last year
as an investment
in the color of the sun.
Finally locating buds
peeking amber through the snow,
they’re no insurance
against the coming of the dark,
so it snows again.
As with searching and repeating,
the black is a constant--
There’s no hedge against the dark
upon which to retire.

Izy asked the Real Toads to create a list of three words or phrases specific to the worst job we ever had, and craft a poem using them that has nothing to do with work. My words are investment, insurance, and retire, and my title counts, too.

13 comments:

  1. So, how does one begin to leave a comment on this piece without heaping on huge accolades and awe and seeming like a sniveling kiss ass. It's my duty to heap on the praise when it is deserved, and here, you have done something so clever and stunning, I am falling short of a proper comment.

    I love how you took your "work word" list and applied it to a natural setting, but I love even more how you made your imagery sing.

    "like searching for the crocuses
    you put in last year
    as an investment
    in the color of the sun"

    that line made my jaw drop and my vision blur. Well done, Marian. Thank you so much for participating my out of standard prompt!

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  2. . . . but . . . but . . . but they'll grow, won't they? Unlike my rhodies, half dead again despite the grand I invested in landscape planting them 2 years ago. I need the beauty. Not that I dislike the dark which is also a writing environment, but I'd like to block it out at times. "Fact finder" is brilliant.

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  3. Oh, my. This line is STUNNING:
    "searching for the crocuses
    you put in last year
    as an investment
    in the color of the sun."

    Stun.Ning.

    I smiled when I got to the word insurance, but it still wasn't at all distracting. Just clever.

    SO well done.

    de
    www.whimsygizmo.wordpress.com

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  4. i just realized i wrote this poem visualizing primroses, but i wrote crocuses.
    i guess "crocus" sounds more poetic. they both are early blooms but it's primroses that i think of as actually blooming through the snow.

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  5. a brilliant one! I am fascinated by the lines ... corcuses...

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  6. I, too, am poet-jealous of the crocuses 'as an investment in the color of the sun'. Your Springtime imagery makes those office bound words work for their money. I love every line.

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  7. I also love the "investment in the color of the sun" — what a wonderful mental image that conjures. I see daffodils as well as crocuses in your poem. Fabulous, Marian!
    And how mind-numbing that job must have been, oh my!
    K

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  8. I love the contrast between light and dark in your poem. A fact of life, but let's hope light will prevail! Lovely spring imagery :)

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  9. crocus inflation means I only just planted the bulbs
    five months late :-)
    Still this might mean investment for 2014 :-)
    Hope yours break through on time.

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  10. I like the crocuses line as well. Reading this I got a sense of hope and then despair. Lovely use of words.

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  11. I agree with Izy--you took the drabbest most man-made, materialistic word list, and to apply it to the natural world as you did is especially creative, and also effective...there's a hint to the lines that the natural world has its own investments which may involve us as eventual compost, perhaps, but however they accrue, they are not something we easily control.

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  12. You are so creative...you took words from the mundane and created art with them.

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  13. thank you, lovely friends.
    i was actually trying to describe sobriety/recovery here, maybe too obfuscated.

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