Things Not To Do Before Dying.

  1. Hide behind your computer keyboard.
  2. Keep your skeletons in your closet. Be ashamed of them. All of them.
  3. Make your friends responsible for keeping your secrets, even after your death.
  4. Don’t say anything when you witness injustice. Be a bystander.
  5. Don’t finish your book.
  6. Don’t tell your spouse the truth about anything.
  7. Model living untruthfully for your children. Show them what a marriage without love or respect looks like.
  8. Don’t allow yourself any freedom. Don’t make any plans.
  9. When you find the great love of your life, do nothing.
 10. Whatever you do, don’t love yourself.

photo copyright Isadora Gruye Photography
Izy Gruye and I have been working together to write a collaborative poem that will be posted at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads on Tuesday as part of the In Tandem series. We came up with more material than we expected--because we're fantastic that way--including two top-ten lists. Or lists of ten, anyway. Mine is a response to Izy's, and hers is a response to mine. That great photo is by Izy, too. Please visit Izy at the Real Cage Blog to read her companion list, here:
Things That Can Get You In Trouble In The Chemo Ward


  1. Hats off once again my friend....viva la

  2. Except for the first one, this could be my mother's rules to live by. Seriously, this is HER. Obviously, and despite all earnest efforts, she failed to instill these "values" in her daughter! *Banshee screech* Fug that sheet!

    I loved both your list and Izy's. Fantastic. I am eager to see what you'll have cooked up, together, for tomorrow

  3. These lists have certainly got me thinking. How many times does one think: I'm going to change my method, attitude, clear my conscience, apologize etc before I die but never make a concerted effort to do anything differently from the way we always have.

    I find this inspiring.

  4. Well then... some of us may have some evolution ahead. Oh. Maybe all of us. Yeah. That.

  5. This is moving and inspiring. #5 scares me the most.

  6. I'm kind of glad I read Izy's first, because this is such a negative mirror-image of it, yet it holds a lot of the same truths. Absolutely chilling, marian, and I think this response is so sadly a lot more common than the flipside. Lots to learn from here, about life and death.

  7. you guys are in killer moods this week.you, Isadora, Fireblossom...you have unleashed a cannonade.I am shell-shocked and loving it.keep'em coming, I say.

  8. Whoa. This list makes me anxious! So much to do, so little time, so easy to keep procrastinating.........AGH!!!!!!! (runs screaming off into the snowy fields.)

  9. I love the list dear ~ Good collaboration with Izy ~

  10. You know whats important.....and I thank you for the reminders. Awesome list.

  11. Wow, that felt like a hearty bitch slap back into reality. I'm going to bookmark this.

    1. hah, that's what i'm going for, the bitchslap!


Thank you for sharing your thoughts!