12.27.2012

rockabilly

Playing pool & watching girls
with frosted hair and bolo ties
line dancing at the Purple Onion,

the waitress delivers a beer--
that lady over there sent you this.
I look & nod to the lady, who bears

striking resemblance to Brian Setzer
so I sashay my ass over & try out
my best line: Let’s rock this place.

She nods, snaps her head back
& drains her whiskey. I want to lick
her exposed throat and she knows it.

Rock this joint? She snorts. Nah
let’s blow this here popsicle stand.
Gruff and intoxicating. So we did.

My response to Izy's Dubstep Goat challenge to the Real Toads.

17 comments:

  1. sounds like an extremely GOOD night.
    "lick her exposed throat"...it says everything about how good sexual tension is.

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  2. Love the intro and it kicks in to high gear after that. You rocked this challenge

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  3. Ha! Amazing where I few drinks and a repetitive beat may take you :) I like your inclusion of direct speech within the lines - and really believe there's line dancing at the Purple Onion to this day.

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  4. Loved this, so vivid and exciting. This stanza... "She nods, snaps her head back/ & drains her whiskey. I want to lick/ her exposed throat and she knows it." Perfection.

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  5. Vivid indeed...Love it Marian!!! :)

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  6. I truly appreciate the rockabilly spin you have evoked. Off the dance floor and into the pool hall, there is still a driving, wobbly beat beneath it all which kept my pulse going to the very end. exposed throats for lickin and whiskey for kickin, all in all, here comes a fantastic 2013. Thanks so much for participating and viva la

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  7. Ha! That's great!

    I was just thinking today how I missed the old redneck bars that my mother-in-law used to take me to at Christmas time so we could dance. Thanks for the taking me back there!

    :)

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  8. "I want to lick
    her exposed throat and she knows it."

    Very nice! Great atmosphere and tension.

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  9. Oh how I miss those days! And how brilliantly you brought them back to life for me, although yours sounded a lot sexier than I recall mine ever being, even with the atrocious pick-up line ;)

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  10. Ah, I'm sure I felt the earth begin to tremble!

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  11. *two-steps off for another drink*

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