8.12.2012

how to stay afloat

Reaching for the sky
like a lullaby,
hyperbolic sigh
stopped in its tracks.

Inventing despair
right out of nowhere,
not here, over there,
no turning back.

Remain in the light
above all, despite
overwhelming might,
frontal attack,

violence obscene!
Much better to dream
out loud in the green,
not in the black.

Kerry's weekend challenge to the Real Toads is to try this lovely Welsh form called Cyhydedd Hir. Love it!

14 comments:

  1. Nicely done, great use of this form. Moving from Lullaby through despair and then surviving a frontal attack does lead us to seek a better dream in green.

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  2. You are the master of short forms, Marian. I love what you did with this one, especially the punch of the fourth lines. Great phrasing keeps the pace moving from start to finish.

    Much better to dream out loud... wonderful!

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  3. Wow, kiddo, you totally aced this. "remain in the light...much better to dream"....awesome message too!

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  4. Nice meaningful message and form, my dear ~ Great to see you ~

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  5. Dreams do invite or invent despair sometimes, I know. This is super, Marian. I like "hyperbolic sigh"!
    K

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  6. I like the flow and rhyme... but did you take liberty with the count? Or perhaps I didn't get it right. Of course, poetic license is always a good thing :) Wonderful message and I love the "persaverance" in this poem.

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    1. i think i got the count right but i am also a believer in poetic license :)

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  7. Remain in the light, my dear. Yes.

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  8. Well done! Great job with the form and lovely poem. k.

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  9. thank you, friends. this is a fun form, pretty sure i'll be revisiting it :)

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  10. You aced it. This caused me to want to throw my keyboard at the wall initially--then I started reading some of them and it lured me into forcing myself to do it--if I'd read yours first I might have been too daunted--but now I just enjoy how you made it jump through hoops.

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  11. oh yours is wonderful! i thought this form was challenging... it wanted to be cutesy or limerick-like. i may try again. i'm sure i will :)

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