6.29.2012

blue

Best for you, worst for me,
I couldn't make you sing,
gathering perspective
like losing everything.

I used to walk around
a queen amongst my fans--
now, I pause and stumble
forgetting my balance.

Takes substantial gumption
to muster up the strength
as there's always something
to barricade the path.

It's my journey alone.
In the end, only one
will attest, will atone
if it turns out I'm wrong.

Wrong? My heart, it dances,
I pine to sing with thee.
You eschew advances--
best for you, worst for me.

Written for my occasional music prompt at Real Toads, where today the song is "Blue" by The Jayhawks. Click over and be inspired!

26 comments:

  1. 'You eschew advances--
    best for you, worst for me.' LOVE it:)

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  2. Why is it that the best for one often means the worst for someone else? That makes me a little sad. This reads to me like a reply to the Blue lyrics, the answer as to where she has been and why she has not as yet returned.

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  3. I LOVE this! The allusions to "Rent" and its associations--I'm not making this up, am I?--are poignant. I'd have to quote every line back to you to show you why I like it! And of course we answered song with song--I can tell from this very poem that your prompt raises the question of continuing the dance. And more poignant yet, handling the loss of FRIENDS--and one very much needed friend/love. (To me the Jayhawks sound very confused. Joni Mitchell's song is more about drugs as I recall.)

    "It's my journey alone.
    In the end, only one
    will attest, will atone
    if it turns out I'm wrong."

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    Replies
    1. i love your read... smiles, Susan xoxo

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  4. Ahh... they chase ..the other runs away but, the author seems to know it's for the best. Sad.
    Reminds me of all the faded pop stars that still try to sing 30 odd years after their peak, they can't hold or hit the notes and yet, they still perform.

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  5. Oh I recognize this dance. My legs finally got too tired, hee hee. Well written, my friend, and wonderfully "Blue".

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  6. Replies
    1. i feel like i veered off toward Kerry's Shakespeare prompt, which has also been on my mind but i haven't been able to write for in a very busy week...

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  7. That is one twisty rhyme scheme, girl. I had to look at it careful to catch it.

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    Replies
    1. maybe because i didn't really get it right! there's always that. :)

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  8. The last stanza is so beautiful. This is one of the most complete, emotionally satisfying poem not in your brilliant book you've ever written.

    Blue is one of my favorite songs. This was perfect.

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    1. really! well, thank you. i was kinda ambivalent about this one. weird when that happens.
      i love this song, too, love love love it.
      i have another poem that directly mentions The Jayhawks, i should link it here. *goes searching*

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  9. If this is fictional in nature, then I continue to seethe with jealousy over your blatant talent!

    If this is biographical in nature, then (((hugs)))

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    Replies
    1. i will never tell and always love hugs from you!

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  10. I'm with Ms. Sherry Blue Sky ... these poor old legs, time to exit stage left! Your poem is beautifully written .....

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  11. that last stanza has tears welling up in my eyes and I'm not even sure why.
    and the line about attesting and atoning, I have felt that way so many times, as if I was asking "just me? standing here, feeling like this about you?"

    oh Marian, your words do move me in so many ways.

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  12. "You eschew advances--
    best for you, worst for me."

    Oh, this is the epitome of so many relationships...never taking into consideration the other. Well Written, Marian!

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  13. love!

    "it's my journey alone" - how true is that?!

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  14. oh you lovely friends, thank you one and all for reading and commenting and for playing! xoxo

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  15. Gotta love a poem containing "eschew" and I also love "substantial gumption"! Great stuff, Marian, and I enjoyed the prompt.
    K

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  16. Well said. This stanza could be the story of my life!

    Takes substantial gumption
    to muster up the strength
    as there's always something
    to barricade the path.

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  17. Thank you for this challenge Marian. The Jayhawks are new to me and I like the way that they mix sounds. A color prompt is always so much fun!

    "Gathering perspective like losing everything", a wider scope of thought and a glimpse of wisdom at the risk of losing everything. I think it is worth it. I hope that she continues to dance and sing.

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  18. "You eschew advances--
    best for you, worst for me."

    This is captivating and so true
    it makes me kind of blue~

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  19. aw, thank you. glad you all like this one, i wasn't so pleased with it.

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