4.02.2012

breaking the girl

She held the piece of broken glass like a flint, examining its spine, gauging its weight in her hand. It was solid, its character unimpeachable. The light amber color reflected the recessed sink lights, dimmed to near-dark but still glinting in the glass.

Dancing her thumb across the sharpest edge, she winced slightly as the blood rose. More pressure ripped the flesh; she knicked the glass sideways to open the wound.

She gripped the shard tighter, embracing the searing as it pierced her fingers, blood running down her arm. A soft noise behind her made her jump.

Her girl. "Mama?"


I'm playing 100 Word Song over at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. This week's song is "Breaking the Girl" by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

16 comments:

  1. Oh goodness. That last line is a heart-breaker. WONDERFUL!!!

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  2. So well written, gripping, and intense. And then that killer last line. Whew!

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  3. That was so vivid it made me squirm in my seat. Well done!

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  4. I've read this 3 times. To me, her examination of the glass is more shocking/telling than her cutting. She thought about it and wanted it. That's just heart breakingly frightning. It's also excellent writing.

    You continue to amaze me. excellent.

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  5. Vivid and sad. Great piece,
    eden

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  6. Oh my goodness... this is amazing!

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  7. heh. not sure about amazing, but thanks so much! xo

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  8. I like that you can work in so many styles. Keeps it fresh!

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  9. So. I've been sitting here for the last 3 minutes, trying to figure out what words I could use that would even come close to explaining just how good this is.

    I'll get back to you when and if they should come to mind.

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  10. holding my breath until you come back!

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    Replies
    1. Annnnd, I still got nothing. I will tell you, however, that it will be I who copy/pastes your response to this weeks song challenge, vs the other way 'round. So get crackin' already, will ya?

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  11. Fantastic words lined up for a runaway sentence spectacular! Well done from start to finish.

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