3.14.2012

appetence

What if my love dripped
rhythmically, like a faucet,
high hat staccato?
I'd lap love up thirstily;
parched again, I'd drum up more.

***

Like your refreshing
grape popsicle, I'll drink you
deeply down, until
you can't take it anymore,
hold you on my tongue, swallow.


***

At the end of days,
I want to be enveloped--
please, be my pea-pod!
With no future, I'd prefer
for you to ingest me whole.

This week, the Real Toads are writing tanka at the behest of Pirate Grace.

28 comments:

  1. I love the way you did the first one. It made me smile, especially "high hat staccato" — well written!
    K

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  2. Marian,
    These are great
    I need to try again...
    I loved it, but don't feel it I captured what i wanted...
    Loved yours~

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  3. Your tankas are wonderful. I especially love "please be my pea-pod!" It is cool to see the different directions everyone took within a restrictive form. Very intriguing indeed.

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  4. These are so good...I should go back to the writing board...

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  5. These are fun, and clever. I love the naturalness that you've kept in the voice despite such a taut form.

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  6. I like the tanka verses ...parched, swallow, and ingest me whole ~ Now I am hungry ~

    Heaven
    http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.com/2012/03/waiting-for-spring.html

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  7. :) they ARE fun, fun to write. let's write some more!

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  8. Lovely love.
    Now I'm thirsty and need something artificially grape.
    Humph!

    Last one's my favorite.

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  9. I must have a dirty mind because to me that second one is suggestive. = )

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    Replies
    1. are you kidding? they are *all* suggestive :)

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  10. ahhh that first one, "high hat staccato"...succinct and perfect! x

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  11. "be my pea-pod" What a line, Marian. This set of tanka made me smile. You write of love with such intensity, and it never sounds cliched.

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  12. hah! thank you, lovely people. FUN

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  13. Hell, I felt much the some of the others do...these are so good, I feel like I wrote mine in third grade with a Husky Pencil and a Big Chief tablet. Delicious....that middle one can get a body to sweating. Wow....exhilerating fo sho! Nice work.

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  14. The first one is my favorite. Its much sexier than the usual metaphor/simile of love being like a river. My mind went wild places to. I like your provocative stuff.

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  15. like beautiful love songs, your tanka

    "What if my love dripped
    rhythmically, like a faucet,
    high hat staccato?"

    gorgeous!

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  16. I love when you do forms.

    Love.

    Yum.

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  17. Oh you are so good...your wordplay within the strictness of the form is really well crafted!

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  18. Holy fuckity-fuck, Marian!! (pardon my Irish...)

    You continue to amaze me with your ability to string together powerful poetry...

    I'm just saying, you rock. Honestly.

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  19. aw, friends, you are way over the top. thank you!
    now go write some sexy tanka of your own :)

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  20. They are very suggestive. Never thought of that with a Tanka~you are quite talented.

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  21. yeah, i seriously don't know how to do these...
    strong thematic elements carry through all, but each has its own delicious tang.
    form loves you.

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  22. !! I could see these on "adult" valentine day cards :)

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    Replies
    1. now *there's* an idea i could run with! ;)

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  23. ah but I have been away far too long,... I see I've missed your wondrous word wonders... only you, m'dear, could turn a leaky faucet into a love song

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