We bought wedding bands
from a Russian antiques dealer
whose window display was cleared
against thieves each night.
The bands were simple gold,
plus one carved with flowers,
presented in pink paper boxes,
all tied with a gold ribbon.
We sold the platinum ones
from the marriage that failed,
tarnished, for cheap, enjoying
a fine lunch on the proceeds.
He wished us the best of luck.
Better luck next time, we agreed.
1.11.2012
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First, I must say that this reads like an unrhyming sonnet - and certainly nothing cliched about that, and I so love the idea of a ring engraved with flowers, and all it may suggest about a new beginning.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent story. It is filled with a range of emotions (and no cliche).
ReplyDeleteA well-described scenario! Unusual elements here --- Russian antique dealer and lunch. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteAfter my second reading, this sounds like the same couple getting remarried for a second time. Interesting... ;)
ReplyDeleteeden
This reads beautifully! Lovely work.
ReplyDeleteI liked the subtle word relationships to the poem;s title.
ReplyDeleteThis is so unique. You did a great job.
I like how you met the challenge with another cliche of wedding rings/ marriages. This is indeed a new perspective on a flower. Thanks for posting this
ReplyDeleteI read it like Eden did. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteI dint see that coming. Really nicely done, Marian.
ReplyDeletePS--it's all in the details, baby! And you do details well.
ReplyDeletethanks, everybody. i rather like this one, too :)
ReplyDelete"We sold the platinum ones
ReplyDeletefrom the marriage that failed,
tarnished, for cheap, enjoying
a fine lunch on the proceeds."
It sounds like they went out together to sell the rings, then spent the money on lunch, together. I've never had a marriage fail in quite that way. It sounds so civilized and yet so sad.
second time around? Very interesting twist.
ReplyDeleteVery adroit and simple--and I like the spirit of not just survival, but passion for life that is able to let the past go, not grudgingly, but with flair and enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteThere is no cliche in this....joy risen from failure. Nice work!
ReplyDelete:) glad you like it. thank you!
ReplyDeleteNice story...great twist in the end ~
ReplyDeletehttp://everydayamazin.blogspot.com/2012/01/flower-of-love.html
thanks!
ReplyDeleteA lovely story.
ReplyDeleteTelling about the window gave me a great visual for the shop and its neighborhood.
aw, yes! thank you.
Deletealso? NOW I CAN REPLY TO COMMENTS! WATCH OUT!
An elegant response - most enjoyable.
ReplyDeletethank you, Jinx :)
Delete