12.09.2011

the goat song

the story of your departing
is a slow turning, a roiling
that became an undermining.

it started with silence,
at first unnoticed. then,
there was that day of shame
followed by averted eyes
like hiding behind a locker
after gym class to escape
teenaged clique scrutiny.

by the time you were gone,
my version of us together
rendered you unrecognizable.

the narrative could be written
in one chapter. but still now,
the story of your leaving is
catalogued in the tragic canon.

14 comments:

  1. A wonderfully tragic write. I love the progression in the first stanza, from turning to roiling to undermining.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  2. I like the way you ended the poem...the "tragic canon". Thanks for participating, and for your lovely and much appreciated comments at my blog!

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  3. Yes, that's another aspect of the dread parting: how do you explain it to others who will never understand what went wrong in the relationship. You captured that so well in the second stanza: the feeling that everyone wants an explanation that you are unable to give.

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  4. loved the last stanza.quite literary and beautifully crafted.

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  5. Some departures really do take time to get beyond, and still in one's depths they live on. (Visiting from RT)

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  6. I have to say wow too...sometimes it is so subtle, and then bam...departed.

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  7. nice...the rewriting of the story to make them look different, i can def relate to that...and we do that to make ourselves feel better about what happened or maybe that is just me...smiles.

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  8. I like the progression of the leaving.. and then the unfinished chapter or book...nice metaphor and powerful closing line ~

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  9. Yes, we all construct our own realities and stories. Wonderful write.

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  10. beautiful write - that 3rd stanza is a "wow" IMHO

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