8.10.2011

winged devotee

how could i do this without you?
like worry, she struck unannounced.
i had the feeling we were gods
but we had fallen hard.

like worry, she struck unannounced,
hazed & incessant like a dream;
but we had fallen hard,
losing track of our usual patterns.

hazed & incessant like a dream--
if hope is the thing with feathers--
losing track of our usual patterns,
we birthed something extraordinary.

if hope is the thing with feathers
like plunging to first flight
we birthed something extraordinary:
she was our winged witness.

like plunging to first flight
i had the feeling we were gods;
she was our winged witness.
how could i do this without you?

Our form challenge this week is the pantoum. Read Pirate Grace's bossy little pantoum here: Caenis. Who else wants to write one? It was fun to write, with all the repetition, like putting a puzzle together.

17 comments:

  1. Ooh, interesting. I may need to play with this form.

    Also, lovely words you.

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  2. This reads so wonderfully, it even made ME want to attempt one and I am pathologically Afeared of Forms , they make my poor little gray brain mute with terror. Lovely lovely lovely poem, absolutely glorious. Your "winged witness".

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  3. this form is fun! it practically wrote itself. try it!
    once you have a few lines, it starts repeating and flowing.
    no rhyming, no meter, free & easy...

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  4. very intriguing form... I must play, play, play

    "i had the feeling we were gods
    but we had fallen hard" love that line... wonderful!

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  5. oh i love this! such a pretty form, and your words are magical.

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  6. if you write one, come back and let me know!
    xoxo friends

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  7. "she was our winged witness..." perfect! xo

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  8. I've been reading and reading, and I love how the lines keep shifting and changing, like a mirage.

    Shimmery.

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  9. thanks, pals. shimmery sounds nice!

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  10. Is this a variation of sestina? I have noticed an interesting repetition of words.

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  11. it's a PANTOUM. and i love, love love this form!
    i wrote a sestina recently, too, it was much harder for me to get through.
    it's here, if you are interested: http://www.runawaysentence.com/2011/07/from-now-on.html

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  12. This is just exceptional, Marian. How I know I loved it, was I broke out on tiny goosebumps round about the moment you alluded to Emily Dickinson.. the way you worked in the idea of first flight is brilliant.

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  13. Love this form, and you exploring different forms intrigues me.

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  14. thank you, women. i love this form, too.
    i see more pantoums in my future. write one!
    goosebumps? hee!

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  15. Wow - I really like this form and its repetitions. Of course your imagery really makes it sing... but the form is beautiful. I must try it :)

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  16. i'm learning so much about poetry and its many forms. thanks for sharing.

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