7.05.2011

from now on

in this black night
hang on through loss
i will not leave you
here my steely love
all better in the day
you will see in time

remember that time
bluest mountain night
turned to pinkest day
you rejected loss
in favor of love
& i elected you

& oh, wondrous you
in a simpler time
showered with love
that bright night
ignoring all you lost
until another day

now at this late date
confounded, i hear you
wanting what you lost
after all this time
in an aching night
not enough to love

but oh, my true love
every day after day
& all of my nights
are only for you
every single time
i'll face your loss

when you are wailing lost
i will swaddle you in love
i'm telling you this time
come what may, all my days
you & only my darling you
can get me through the night

oh for time to ease your jaded nights
& bring exuberant days to my true you
shedding loss like skin, revealing love.
Ack! Pirate Grace and I are in the midst of a form poetry challenge; the sestina was nearly the death of me. Never again! Read her strikingly different poem here.

16 comments:

  1. smiles. this left me warm all in side...to know that there is someone there ...the shredding of loss like skin is a nice touch as well...

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  2. the last line is still my favorite, but I love the final version.
    it's very melodic. makes me want to sing.

    now to click over to Grace...

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  3. It is over! We can breathe again! We have defeated the wretched sestina. Proud of you. :)

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  4. oh, whoosh, this was hard.
    i felt like i could have kept working on it forever.
    maybe i'll come back to it and make it better.

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  5. that's what she said

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  6. even better! weirdo.
    xoxoxox xxx

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  7. This was so beautiful!
    Such urgent expression, each stanza like the pages of a book you cannot put down.
    Bravo!

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  8. It may have been the death of you, but the final result is pretty darned good. It is swift, moving and intense, while still romantic and melancholic. Nicely done.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/07/05/dance-of-god-science/

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  9. I think you did a stunning job of this sestina - the repetition was so subtle, I didn't pick it up until the end.

    Love this stanza - such an affirmation of love:


    but oh, my true love
    every day after day
    & all of my nights
    are only for you
    every single time
    i'll face your loss

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  10. oh so glad i stumbled over here tonight...so many good lines..
    although I am not a form writer, i really liked this poem..
    we lose to regain....that's how it is..

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  11. i'm so pleased that this poem pleases you, my friends.
    it was hard to write, but i was going for that affirmation, kerry.
    xoxo

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