you were
little, yelling
like a child when she came
after you, long white hair unfurled,
a witch whipped between our twin beds, pressing
down on you, scarier than your
closet E, leaving me
with no way to
save you.
2.07.2011
no protection
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Like a nighmare! You've tapped into the fright.
ReplyDeleteI am reminded of someone drowning. Often their fear becomes their demise, as they cannot relax into their rescue, but fight it so hard there is no saving. Must be an awful spot, to need the salvation, but be unable to take it....to watch it receed in spite of your great need, and greater fear.
ReplyDeleteI feel your sense of helplessness...in what I believe is a dream about your sister being attacked by a witch...with a bit of humor thrown in, "scarier than your closet E," well done, definitely descriptive and scary.
ReplyDeletei wish it were a dream. thank you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1ddxJECccA&feature=related
ReplyDeletea bit obvious, perhaps, but this is what it made me think of.
holy shit, ian. not so far from reality. is that from the witches of eastwick or something else? cripes.
ReplyDeleteoh! the witches! i have not seen that and i will. roald dahl, right? yes. huh.
ReplyDeletecripes, i have my witch movies all mixed up. oh, well.
ReplyDeleteI'm sleeping with one eye open tonight!
ReplyDeleteCripes this is scary!
it's worth seeing. it's a jim henson production, his last film, so you know it's quality. dahl had problems with the screenplay, but so it goes with going from book to film. none-the-less, it scared the crap out of me when I saw it in a theater.
ReplyDeleteas far as the figuring out which witch movie is which, it took me a second to remember which silver screen witches scared me the most; but I can say for certain that it is "the witches" which actually scared me witless.
i am gonna watch that, you can bet. though associating it with this poem could be traumatic. oh hell, i'm up for it.
ReplyDeletewell that was quite vivid...yikes! nicely done in so few words...
ReplyDeleterictameter!
ReplyDeleteYes. Powerful rictameter. I thought the witch might have been a metaphor for something like pneumonia or diphtheria. Something settling on the chest that drove the life out. Scary because so possible.
ReplyDeletehuh. that is really scary.
ReplyDeleteHere is to a safe evening in the MIDDLE of my bed!
ReplyDeleteGood write!
hope you slept well, carl!
ReplyDeleteNo way to save you... good job. I liked it so much...
ReplyDeleteॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html
You kept true to the child's moment -- the speaker relives the harrowing moment with all the powerlessness of a child. Those moments live in every adult, locked away in the chamber of neuroses, fanning out in political opinions, vices, poems.-- Brendan
ReplyDeleteyes, you are right about that for sure.
ReplyDeleteoh, Marian...
ReplyDeleteThat?
::shudder::
great writing! I like the way the first three line trick you...me at least. I have to look at them...the words jump about. then that line in the middle translates. Very interesting.
ReplyDeletethank you, mr. k! *shudder*
ReplyDelete