cheap haiku

this damn wine tastes like
it's been in the box too long
thus my punishment

oh, denis leary
firefighter fireschmighter, i
may self-immolate

you sit there eating
chips and french onion dip, my
ass swells by proxy

so proud when you gave
up pepsi, now in your veins:
vitamin water

on the other hand
like fine wine, scott bakula
with age, i'd drink him

my blackberry is
quiet, what will i do with
myself? i'm lonely

what's wrong with me? all
the love, all of the beauty
right here next to me.