1.01.2011

and how are you?

on a barefoot floor
of the end of days
in a flash of resistance
i, sticky with pine tar,
am fomenting revolt.

13 comments:

  1. sticky with pine tar

    I know what you're up to...

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  2. I like this but observe the 5-7-5-7-7 rules!

    But the sentiment (in intent!) is wonderful!

    Lady Nyo

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  3. ha! point well taken.
    i was playing with various forms a while back, the other one has an additional 7 as the last line, so i guess i wasn't following the rules at all! oh, well. here it is anyway:
    http://www.runawaysentence.com/2011/01/total-eclipse.html

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  4. I love this little poem, but I agree with Lady Nyo, Tanka is 5,7,5,7,7 a little tweek and it could be perfection hun x

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  5. nice...love the barefoot floor and the fomenting...tight tanka....

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  6. thanks folks, i like it too, even if i fucked up the meter.

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  7. thinking woman alright:
    I had to read this several times before I could savour it.
    So good, that I almost forgive you the twitter bird flipping up and down in the corner of my eye.
    Only almost, mind :-)

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  8. ha! so funny, i have never received a complaint about that little birdie before. it pleases me! annoying? huh.

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