1.01.2011

and how are you?

on a barefoot floor
of the end of days
in a flash of resistance
i, sticky with pine tar,
am fomenting revolt.
Posted by Marian at 4:47 PM
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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    fomenting...
    great word.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    sticky with pine tar

    I know what you're up to...

    ReplyDelete
  3. MarianJanuary 1, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    am i that predictable?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Eric AlderJanuary 2, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    Tree troubles?

    ReplyDelete
  5. MarianJanuary 2, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    rebellion!

    ReplyDelete
  6. AsobimeFebruary 21, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    I like this but observe the 5-7-5-7-7 rules!

    But the sentiment (in intent!) is wonderful!

    Lady Nyo

    ReplyDelete
  7. MarianFebruary 21, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    ha! point well taken.
    i was playing with various forms a while back, the other one has an additional 7 as the last line, so i guess i wasn't following the rules at all! oh, well. here it is anyway:
    http://www.runawaysentence.com/2011/01/total-eclipse.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    I love this little poem, but I agree with Lady Nyo, Tanka is 5,7,5,7,7 a little tweek and it could be perfection hun x

    ReplyDelete
  9. ReflectionsFebruary 21, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Lovely poem, like the contrasts.

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  10. Brian MillerFebruary 21, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    nice...love the barefoot floor and the fomenting...tight tanka....

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  11. MarianFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    thanks folks, i like it too, even if i fucked up the meter.

    ReplyDelete
  12. jocodeaneFebruary 22, 2011 at 6:42 AM

    thinking woman alright:
    I had to read this several times before I could savour it.
    So good, that I almost forgive you the twitter bird flipping up and down in the corner of my eye.
    Only almost, mind :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. MarianFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    ha! so funny, i have never received a complaint about that little birdie before. it pleases me! annoying? huh.

    ReplyDelete

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