10.20.2010

an afternoon

i would
bring your tray
with sectioned grapefruit
and a bowl of sugar

we would
watch music videos
and then baseball

i would
ask you
about your children
how it was
why you wrote
what you did

to take away the pain
to protect your children
from the pain

what you did
to protect yourself
from the pain

at four o'clock
i would
bring your beer

we would
toast to the pirates

i would
ask you
about your husband
how you loved him
how he loved you

i would
tell you

i love you
i miss you
i ache for you
i crave you
i would.

Posted by Marian at 12:32 AM
Labels: , ,

33 comments:

  1. NicholeOctober 20, 2010 at 12:39 AM

    Oh, Marian, how I love this.

    I can feel your ache, the emptiness left in her wake.

    I can taste the tart grapefruit, its bitterness countered by the sugar's sweetness.

    I can feel your unanswered questions, your longing to know more...just a bit more.

    So lovely and longing.

    Love you and your beautiful words...

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  2. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 12:44 AM

    i want so much more. oh, so much more.
    love you, Nichole.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Soge shirtsOctober 20, 2010 at 12:52 AM

    Another great poem. Lots of sentimentalism in this one. Sounds like you had a great bond with your grandmother.

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  4. krisOctober 20, 2010 at 1:04 AM

    I love how you can make me feel not only the powerful love you and your grandmother shared, but also the aching empty hole her absence has left.

    You have made me cry.

    I hate the holes that people leave when they are forever gone.

    Ugh.

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  5. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 7:38 AM

    forever-goneness.
    more often than not, i feel like she is here.
    but i have regrets.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The EmpressOctober 20, 2010 at 8:21 AM

    I know, when I lost my grandmother...I remember thinking, "this is what a broken heart feels like. A real broken heart."

    pffft. what the boys in high school and college did to my heart was amateur compared to what happened when I lost my grandmother.

    Beautiful. Thank you.

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  7. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 9:53 AM

    yes. for sure.
    thank you and love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. NicoleOctober 20, 2010 at 2:14 PM

    I keep rereading so I can perhaps come up with a comment that is worthy of this.
    And I can't.
    What I get from it...
    What it means to you...
    Its filled to the brim, this poem.
    Love

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 2:21 PM

    What a lovely poem.

    Love and loss and beauty and sweetness.

    You are so wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    aw, shucks. love to you both.
    i am feeling rather full of groovy love today, for sure.
    to the brim.

    ReplyDelete
  11. NigelOctober 20, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    You are awfully groovy, you know.

    With sugar on top.

    ReplyDelete
  12. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 6:10 PM

    yes, delicious.

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  13. tulpenOctober 20, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    gorgeous.

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  14. MarianOctober 20, 2010 at 8:52 PM

    thank you and love!

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  15. krisOctober 21, 2010 at 2:33 AM

    Sneaking back in here to read this again.

    I really love this, babe.

    May have been here earlier as well.

    Seriously excellent.

    Sigh.

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  16. MarianOctober 21, 2010 at 7:28 AM

    aw, you. thanks.
    sigh.

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  17. TonyaOctober 21, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    I read this three times in a row and each time I felt your pain, sorrow and loss. Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  18. MarianOctober 21, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    thank you for reading, Tonya. and for seeing and feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousOctober 22, 2010 at 8:07 AM

    This left me wanting to know more... beautifully written... my heart ached for your pain.

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  20. Sluiter NationOctober 22, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    I love your poetry because I feel your poetry. I feel the hurt like it is mine.

    sigh...

    ReplyDelete
  21. MarianOctober 22, 2010 at 9:23 AM

    aw, thank you, Katie. i so appreciate you saying that.

    want to know more? you can find much, much more about my grandmother, including many of her poems and other writing by clicking "my grandmother" in the tag cloud over on the right.

    ReplyDelete
  22. CarrieOctober 22, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    This was beautiful. I'm usually not big on poetry but the simplicity of this hit me.

    It seems to be a running theme this week: tributes to beloved grandmother's.

    ReplyDelete
  23. MarianOctober 22, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    i noticed that, too. grandmothers and granddaughters.
    beautiful.
    i know poetry is not for everyone. thanks for sticking with this one, and for letting me know you liked it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. NatalieOctober 22, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    Wow. It's so full of sorrow and loss and beauty. I connected with it on many levels.

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  25. MarianOctober 22, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    very glad to hear. love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Drama MamaOctober 22, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    I love your poetry. It's so vivid and clear. Your emotions come through strong.

    ReplyDelete
  27. MarianOctober 22, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    thank you, Drama Mama!
    which, by the way, may be the best name ever.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Jessica AnneOctober 22, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    Just beautiful and aching and lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousOctober 22, 2010 at 9:19 PM

    So beautifully simple. So simply Love. Thanks for a great piece of art.

    ReplyDelete
  30. MarianOctober 22, 2010 at 9:36 PM

    yes, Love. and aching.
    art? thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  31. CherylOctober 23, 2010 at 1:04 AM

    I have to admit, being a new reader of your blog, I didn't know you were talking about your grandmother until i read the first comment. I just knew it was someone you loved tremendously and missed terribly. I love that it transcends and has the universal message of love and loss.

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  32. MarianOctober 23, 2010 at 8:28 AM

    i love that too. thank you for reading and letting me know, Cheryl.
    you should keep coming back! xo

    ReplyDelete
  33. Eric 'Bubba' AlderJanuary 12, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    True words make true poems.

    ReplyDelete

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