9.28.2010

alone

flashback to another place
a different time
folded into myself
haze of drink
wiping away incredulous tears
what i signed up for

not heard
not touched
not held
not loved

alone

and another time
hot tears on a cold bathroom floor
finding comfort in the tile
millipede undulating on the ceiling

alone

after i read his story
fucking that little girl
little girl on an airplane
little girl

her name doodled in his notebooks

he never touched me
he would not touch me

alone

now, hot tears
recoiled, raging
suffering
discontent like a burning smack
how can this be fair
how can this be
how

alone
alone
alone

in a softer moment
in the light of day
in your arms, tightly
i know
it is not true
it is not true.

i am right here, with you
i am okay
i am not alone.

7 comments:

  1. OK, I am not certain what this poem means to you.

    But I know what it brings up for me.

    So I will just say that I have been here, and leave it at that.

    As always? You have powerful words.

    Sigh.

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  2. Once again, weird shit blocked at work. Can't see your blog! Booo!
    Looking on phone now.
    Love that u aren't a slave to capital letters.
    Wish I had seen this last night...

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  3. kris, i'm thinking most everyone has been here. i'm glad you could take something from this. although, yes, sigh.

    nicole, i posted it last night, but then got all freaked because i realized that a line was missing, & i couldn't fix it, so all agitatedly i had to re-do and replace it this morning. all better now. sheesh.

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  4. No sighs.

    Just love.

    Lots and lots of love.

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  5. thank you for seeing me, Nigel. big love right back to you.

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  6. I wanted to say something deep and meaningful here, but I can't seem to think of anything.

    I'm glad you woke up, that's all.

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  7. ah, i wish this described a dream.

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