alone

flashback to another place
a different time
folded into myself
haze of drink
wiping away incredulous tears
what i signed up for

not heard
not touched
not held
not loved

alone

and another time
hot tears on a cold bathroom floor
finding comfort in the tile
millipede undulating on the ceiling

alone

after i read his story
fucking that little girl
little girl on an airplane
little girl

her name doodled in his notebooks

he never touched me
he would not touch me

alone

now, hot tears
recoiled, raging
suffering
discontent like a burning smack
how can this be fair
how can this be
how

alone
alone
alone

in a softer moment
in the light of day
in your arms, tightly
i know
it is not true
it is not true.

i am right here, with you
i am okay
i am not alone.